Once Upon a Time....

Before I publish this post I have a few reminders:

1. When I started this I said I would try to stay away from opinions, but asked if I wrote something you would refrain from getting snippy or causing trouble b/c of what I say.

2. I am NOT at all in the mind set of telling people what they should do. I am NOT like that...just b/c we do something one way does not mean I feel everyone should do what we do.

3. I am sorry to my friends who are seperated or divorced or going through a rough time...I in no way mean to cause you any pain. Divorce is real and it is hard and I want to be loving and caring and never make you feel that you did something wrong. I apologize if anything I say or said comes across that way. It is the last thing I want to do EVER! Some people may have a misconception about me...I am NOT mean I do NOT say things purposely to hurt people. I am VERY sensitive and cry easily for people and about people and when someone hurts me (which isn't hard to do). So all that to say let's read and play nice.

I recently posted about how our expectations in marriage are effected by our upbringing...and as a married couple we change and mold to become our own family....everyone makes these adjustments to become WHO they are as a family. We have found a good groove for us. We have ALWAYS adored eachother. I know it's controversial to believe in soulmates, but I believe my husband is mine. I believe God formed us into who we are to be perfectly made for each other.



Some points were brought up that we may love our children less b/c we prioritize our marriage. This is ABSOLUTELY wrong. Our children are adored and loved and as wanted as any child! If you read Focus on the family, 5 Love Languages and Christian family and marriage counseling book or listen to marriage counselors....they say you MUST make time for your marriage and spouse. I will provide some cut and paste info I have seen lately to help reitterate our stance of spending time together as a couple. It does not mean we love or prioritize our children any less. It does not mean that I would attack a couple who do not prioritize their marriage....a families going ons and workings are their buiness and no one elses!

The break down of the family begins with the break down of a marriage.



As far as my parents are concerned we never felt less loved by them having date nights or alone time.

I do have student loans, b/c my parents (specifically my father) had worked since he was 11 and felt that children should work and pay their way through college. I went to private University and I do not know 1 person who walked away with no student loans. My parents did pay for my tuition and books at our local college for summer hours....I am grateful for this. I am grateful for the fact that they have never held anything over us as what they did for us. I am thankful for the way I was brought up and I do not criticize the choices others make and do not expect or appreciate criticism of our choices. The bottom line is we each get 1 shot at raising our children and we do the best that we can.

We choose to focus on the family unit, with the idea that the marriage is crucial to that. We believe God created marriage to represent Christ to us and I know myself I have learned far more about love and forgiveness in the 8 yrs we've been married. We feel the children are extremely important and need a healthy outlokk on life, and marriage and God and the only way they get that is through what is modeled by their parents. We feel our children know without a doubt that they are loved and adored no matter what...but that mommy and daddy also have a special relationship beyond being mommy and daddy. If you asked them they would not tell you they feel any less b/c we have special days for us. They understand. We also have special days with each of them so they can be filled up with love and attention.

Also, children need a peaceful loving extended family free of bickering. They need to see love and forgiveness practiced within the family and extended family. They should see the adults in their lives representing who Christ is.

Now we are not perfect. That is something we stress to our children. We ALL sin and fall short of the glory of God, correct???? We ALL need to ask forgiveness and need to recieve forgiveness. It is good for children to understand that.

I will post more over time about family and mariage and what we do. This is in NO way meant to start a controversy and I ask that you practice the rule that our mother's all taught us...."If you don't have something nice to say, say nothing at all." I also ask that you put any comments here, not in my e mail box. If there is something to be said I prefer it be something you are comfortable saying to the world.