Friday, June 12, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Before I publish this post I have a few reminders:
1. When I started this I said I would try to stay away from opinions, but asked if I wrote something you would refrain from getting snippy or causing trouble b/c of what I say.
2. I am NOT at all in the mind set of telling people what they should do. I am NOT like that...just b/c we do something one way does not mean I feel everyone should do what we do.
3. I am sorry to my friends who are seperated or divorced or going through a rough time...I in no way mean to cause you any pain. Divorce is real and it is hard and I want to be loving and caring and never make you feel that you did something wrong. I apologize if anything I say or said comes across that way. It is the last thing I want to do EVER! Some people may have a misconception about me...I am NOT mean I do NOT say things purposely to hurt people. I am VERY sensitive and cry easily for people and about people and when someone hurts me (which isn't hard to do). So all that to say let's read and play nice.
I recently posted about how our expectations in marriage are effected by our upbringing...and as a married couple we change and mold to become our own family....everyone makes these adjustments to become WHO they are as a family. We have found a good groove for us. We have ALWAYS adored eachother. I know it's controversial to believe in soulmates, but I believe my husband is mine. I believe God formed us into who we are to be perfectly made for each other.
Some points were brought up that we may love our children less b/c we prioritize our marriage. This is ABSOLUTELY wrong. Our children are adored and loved and as wanted as any child! If you read Focus on the family, 5 Love Languages and Christian family and marriage counseling book or listen to marriage counselors....they say you MUST make time for your marriage and spouse. I will provide some cut and paste info I have seen lately to help reitterate our stance of spending time together as a couple. It does not mean we love or prioritize our children any less. It does not mean that I would attack a couple who do not prioritize their marriage....a families going ons and workings are their buiness and no one elses!
The break down of the family begins with the break down of a marriage.
As far as my parents are concerned we never felt less loved by them having date nights or alone time.
I do have student loans, b/c my parents (specifically my father) had worked since he was 11 and felt that children should work and pay their way through college. I went to private University and I do not know 1 person who walked away with no student loans. My parents did pay for my tuition and books at our local college for summer hours....I am grateful for this. I am grateful for the fact that they have never held anything over us as what they did for us. I am thankful for the way I was brought up and I do not criticize the choices others make and do not expect or appreciate criticism of our choices. The bottom line is we each get 1 shot at raising our children and we do the best that we can.
We choose to focus on the family unit, with the idea that the marriage is crucial to that. We believe God created marriage to represent Christ to us and I know myself I have learned far more about love and forgiveness in the 8 yrs we've been married. We feel the children are extremely important and need a healthy outlokk on life, and marriage and God and the only way they get that is through what is modeled by their parents. We feel our children know without a doubt that they are loved and adored no matter what...but that mommy and daddy also have a special relationship beyond being mommy and daddy. If you asked them they would not tell you they feel any less b/c we have special days for us. They understand. We also have special days with each of them so they can be filled up with love and attention.
Also, children need a peaceful loving extended family free of bickering. They need to see love and forgiveness practiced within the family and extended family. They should see the adults in their lives representing who Christ is.
Now we are not perfect. That is something we stress to our children. We ALL sin and fall short of the glory of God, correct???? We ALL need to ask forgiveness and need to recieve forgiveness. It is good for children to understand that.
I will post more over time about family and mariage and what we do. This is in NO way meant to start a controversy and I ask that you practice the rule that our mother's all taught us...."If you don't have something nice to say, say nothing at all." I also ask that you put any comments here, not in my e mail box. If there is something to be said I prefer it be something you are comfortable saying to the world.
1. When I started this I said I would try to stay away from opinions, but asked if I wrote something you would refrain from getting snippy or causing trouble b/c of what I say.
2. I am NOT at all in the mind set of telling people what they should do. I am NOT like that...just b/c we do something one way does not mean I feel everyone should do what we do.
3. I am sorry to my friends who are seperated or divorced or going through a rough time...I in no way mean to cause you any pain. Divorce is real and it is hard and I want to be loving and caring and never make you feel that you did something wrong. I apologize if anything I say or said comes across that way. It is the last thing I want to do EVER! Some people may have a misconception about me...I am NOT mean I do NOT say things purposely to hurt people. I am VERY sensitive and cry easily for people and about people and when someone hurts me (which isn't hard to do). So all that to say let's read and play nice.
I recently posted about how our expectations in marriage are effected by our upbringing...and as a married couple we change and mold to become our own family....everyone makes these adjustments to become WHO they are as a family. We have found a good groove for us. We have ALWAYS adored eachother. I know it's controversial to believe in soulmates, but I believe my husband is mine. I believe God formed us into who we are to be perfectly made for each other.
Some points were brought up that we may love our children less b/c we prioritize our marriage. This is ABSOLUTELY wrong. Our children are adored and loved and as wanted as any child! If you read Focus on the family, 5 Love Languages and Christian family and marriage counseling book or listen to marriage counselors....they say you MUST make time for your marriage and spouse. I will provide some cut and paste info I have seen lately to help reitterate our stance of spending time together as a couple. It does not mean we love or prioritize our children any less. It does not mean that I would attack a couple who do not prioritize their marriage....a families going ons and workings are their buiness and no one elses!
The break down of the family begins with the break down of a marriage.
As far as my parents are concerned we never felt less loved by them having date nights or alone time.
I do have student loans, b/c my parents (specifically my father) had worked since he was 11 and felt that children should work and pay their way through college. I went to private University and I do not know 1 person who walked away with no student loans. My parents did pay for my tuition and books at our local college for summer hours....I am grateful for this. I am grateful for the fact that they have never held anything over us as what they did for us. I am thankful for the way I was brought up and I do not criticize the choices others make and do not expect or appreciate criticism of our choices. The bottom line is we each get 1 shot at raising our children and we do the best that we can.
We choose to focus on the family unit, with the idea that the marriage is crucial to that. We believe God created marriage to represent Christ to us and I know myself I have learned far more about love and forgiveness in the 8 yrs we've been married. We feel the children are extremely important and need a healthy outlokk on life, and marriage and God and the only way they get that is through what is modeled by their parents. We feel our children know without a doubt that they are loved and adored no matter what...but that mommy and daddy also have a special relationship beyond being mommy and daddy. If you asked them they would not tell you they feel any less b/c we have special days for us. They understand. We also have special days with each of them so they can be filled up with love and attention.
Also, children need a peaceful loving extended family free of bickering. They need to see love and forgiveness practiced within the family and extended family. They should see the adults in their lives representing who Christ is.
Now we are not perfect. That is something we stress to our children. We ALL sin and fall short of the glory of God, correct???? We ALL need to ask forgiveness and need to recieve forgiveness. It is good for children to understand that.
I will post more over time about family and mariage and what we do. This is in NO way meant to start a controversy and I ask that you practice the rule that our mother's all taught us...."If you don't have something nice to say, say nothing at all." I also ask that you put any comments here, not in my e mail box. If there is something to be said I prefer it be something you are comfortable saying to the world.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Tuesday May 5th~Hawaii Day 4
On this day we had decided to take a day off of sun with the exception of a glass bottom boat trip! We only took this trip for the little people! We wanted them to play on the beach and ride on a boat in the ocean. We had hoped it would ahve been as cool as the one we went on @ Kona Village. That one we got to see an entire schol of dolphins dance all around us...very cool.
typical lunch, b/c it was free with our coupons....pizza with sausage (the little people's fave) and pineapple. Yes we are beyond a little tired of pizza ;-)
Okay sorry we thought this was funny ~ Actually what happened is Daddy said "take a picture with them and the mermaid." He didn't notice until I pointed it out....
Bedtime stories from mommy
I have no idea what this is...except the tiki torches are pretty cool
My sweet babies
Bedtime stories from mommy 
I have no idea what this is...except the tiki torches are pretty cool 
My sweet babiesHawaii Monday May 4~Day 3
We played REALLY hard!!!!
Everyday they had a free kids activity and on Monday it was braiding hair She actually kept these for about a weekTuesday, June 9, 2009
Our 8th Anniversary & Past Anniversaries
First a little background info. The husband and I were raised very differently.My parents ALWAYS made their anniversary sacred. It was THEIR day no children allowed. They took time to be alone and actually even without an anniversary they always did Friday night dates (which they still do). My dad has ALWAYS bought my mom presents for their annversaries (and my mom buys my dad a present too). It tends to be a bit more elaborate now than I am sure it was early in their marriage...Anyway my point is Expectations. Expectations from our different views from our up bringing. We both agree our anniversary is about us, it's time for us to reflect and rejuvenate and remember the day we married. We also agree on date nights, b/c without happy mpommy and daddy there's not happy children. We typically take a weekend atleast for our anniversary every year. This yr it just wasn't going to work...there's too much going on with tiling the kitchn and all. So here is a recap of our past anniversaries...
1st we had actually booked a trip back to Kona Village, but we decided we should wait until our 5 th anniversary. So we spent the entire weekend before together and we went to sign a contract to buy a house on an acre with huge trees...well the lady made me mad. She was COMPLETELY inflexible. She said we couldn't ask for a wrought iron fence or whatever other minor things we wanted. We figured out later the lady we were working with originally had car troubles, but she would have gotten the commission not this lady...so anyway It all worked out in the end. We enjoyed La Hacienda Ranch and Cheesecake Factory that weekend..and we did eat a little of our wedding cake from the freezer.
2nd yr I was 9 mths preggo with Matthew...technically I was 36/37 weeks my doctor had checked me the week before and I was already 2 cm...she told me she was nervouse about me staying alone being so dilated (in retrospect I had been leaking fluid for months with hard contractions it's a wonder I made it to 38 weeks)...anway thay week my husband was in Kansas, my parents were in Washington and my Doctor was on an island with her husband. Seriously. On our anniversary I dropped the husband at the airport and cried and had terrible contractions...but a sweet friend and her mother and niece met me for lunch and shopped with me...and that made my day. If that old friend ever reads this (and remembers that), I hope she knows how very much that meant to me.
3rd anniversary I was 6 mths preggo with baby #2...the husband was out of town, so I flew out for the night. We ate at Chili's and went to bed wohoo! Then he dropped me off at the airport to fly home ;-)
4th anniversary AWWW we had a not quite 2 yr old and a not quite 9 mth old... and we flew to Cancun with a nice layover in Chicago that was not planned. I fell on our anniversary flat on marble...when we had it x rayed a couple weeks ago (b/c the husband was NOT letting me see a doctor in Mexico..he would have had me flown back seriously)...blood was pooled in the back of my head. the doctor was shocked completely shocked...there was nothing that could be done then. So, I tried to keep up my running, but slept most of the summer. That's what happens after a concussion of that magnitude ;-).
5th Anniversary we stayed home. We went to see The Break Up and I HATED it...the husband liked it b/c it was realistic :p. Then we had some yummy Grasshopper custard!!! The rest of the weekend we goofed without children.
6th anniversary we went to a nearby city for Thursday-Sunday. We watched movies, layed around, went running, played....It was nice until we were on our way to our reservations and I said (famous for me saying what I think with no meaning behind it)...I made some comment about how his parents don't do anniversaries like we do or my parents and I guess that's why he doesn't get presents for me....he got a little mad b/c he felt like I was saying stayng in a hotel wasn't good enough that is not what I meant...I meant we had found our own little way of doing things. ....so anyway 1 thing led to another and I said (still not mad or trying to be mean...I seriously just don't think sometimes....) "well after 6 yrs of nothing I don't expect anything." I MEANT I don't expect a present...I KNOW he sees a trip as a present. I see an effort in buying a card and spending 5 or 10 dollars on flowers or a trinket...seriously I am not hard to please. So anyway he ended up buying me a $10 ring...it was a HUGE pink flower. When cleaning out my purse last yr I accidentally threw it away...SSHHH :-(.
Our 7th...we flew to Vegas. Lets just say another learning experience. We learned I CANNOT gamble seriously I can not bring myself to watch money just leave. He views it as the same as buying a ticket to a show...you pay a certain amount for a ticket to a show and you get nothing back. I see it as money I could ahve gone shopping with :-). yes that was a fun discovery. We would like to try that trip 1 more time and make some adjustments. He did sneak a ring and a little wooden box at the airport (he paid for it...he snuck off to get it). The ring is silver and says Joy Hope Love and it never leaves my rt hand. It was a $5 ring but is very special.
Our 8th....He is working in town, we're tiling the kitchen....we had planned to take the weekend after to go stay somewhere,...we just don't have the time. SOOOO We went to eat at Cheesecake Factory. He tried to take me to buy a present...and I said no. I told him to get me something AFTER the kitchen is finished :-). PLus, hawaii was a crazy 16 day trip....and like I said I don't expect anything :p. We do plan to take a weekend later in the summer when we get this whole house thing sorted and settled. Yay
For our 9th....hmm IDK what we will do.
Our 10th we will be on a 7 day trip to Hawaii...we will likely try a new island (ogh and I WILL be a 0 again...I DO NOT like being a 4 I am just plain pudgy bleh). We have also contemplated having our children go for a week with us...then send them home and we stay for a week for our anniversary....We will have to see what we can afford...
Not that anyone cared...but it's fun to reflect on past anniversaries and lessons learned! I will load a few pics in a post from cancun.
1st we had actually booked a trip back to Kona Village, but we decided we should wait until our 5 th anniversary. So we spent the entire weekend before together and we went to sign a contract to buy a house on an acre with huge trees...well the lady made me mad. She was COMPLETELY inflexible. She said we couldn't ask for a wrought iron fence or whatever other minor things we wanted. We figured out later the lady we were working with originally had car troubles, but she would have gotten the commission not this lady...so anyway It all worked out in the end. We enjoyed La Hacienda Ranch and Cheesecake Factory that weekend..and we did eat a little of our wedding cake from the freezer.
2nd yr I was 9 mths preggo with Matthew...technically I was 36/37 weeks my doctor had checked me the week before and I was already 2 cm...she told me she was nervouse about me staying alone being so dilated (in retrospect I had been leaking fluid for months with hard contractions it's a wonder I made it to 38 weeks)...anway thay week my husband was in Kansas, my parents were in Washington and my Doctor was on an island with her husband. Seriously. On our anniversary I dropped the husband at the airport and cried and had terrible contractions...but a sweet friend and her mother and niece met me for lunch and shopped with me...and that made my day. If that old friend ever reads this (and remembers that), I hope she knows how very much that meant to me.
3rd anniversary I was 6 mths preggo with baby #2...the husband was out of town, so I flew out for the night. We ate at Chili's and went to bed wohoo! Then he dropped me off at the airport to fly home ;-)
4th anniversary AWWW we had a not quite 2 yr old and a not quite 9 mth old... and we flew to Cancun with a nice layover in Chicago that was not planned. I fell on our anniversary flat on marble...when we had it x rayed a couple weeks ago (b/c the husband was NOT letting me see a doctor in Mexico..he would have had me flown back seriously)...blood was pooled in the back of my head. the doctor was shocked completely shocked...there was nothing that could be done then. So, I tried to keep up my running, but slept most of the summer. That's what happens after a concussion of that magnitude ;-).
5th Anniversary we stayed home. We went to see The Break Up and I HATED it...the husband liked it b/c it was realistic :p. Then we had some yummy Grasshopper custard!!! The rest of the weekend we goofed without children.
6th anniversary we went to a nearby city for Thursday-Sunday. We watched movies, layed around, went running, played....It was nice until we were on our way to our reservations and I said (famous for me saying what I think with no meaning behind it)...I made some comment about how his parents don't do anniversaries like we do or my parents and I guess that's why he doesn't get presents for me....he got a little mad b/c he felt like I was saying stayng in a hotel wasn't good enough that is not what I meant...I meant we had found our own little way of doing things. ....so anyway 1 thing led to another and I said (still not mad or trying to be mean...I seriously just don't think sometimes....) "well after 6 yrs of nothing I don't expect anything." I MEANT I don't expect a present...I KNOW he sees a trip as a present. I see an effort in buying a card and spending 5 or 10 dollars on flowers or a trinket...seriously I am not hard to please. So anyway he ended up buying me a $10 ring...it was a HUGE pink flower. When cleaning out my purse last yr I accidentally threw it away...SSHHH :-(.
Our 7th...we flew to Vegas. Lets just say another learning experience. We learned I CANNOT gamble seriously I can not bring myself to watch money just leave. He views it as the same as buying a ticket to a show...you pay a certain amount for a ticket to a show and you get nothing back. I see it as money I could ahve gone shopping with :-). yes that was a fun discovery. We would like to try that trip 1 more time and make some adjustments. He did sneak a ring and a little wooden box at the airport (he paid for it...he snuck off to get it). The ring is silver and says Joy Hope Love and it never leaves my rt hand. It was a $5 ring but is very special.
Our 8th....He is working in town, we're tiling the kitchen....we had planned to take the weekend after to go stay somewhere,...we just don't have the time. SOOOO We went to eat at Cheesecake Factory. He tried to take me to buy a present...and I said no. I told him to get me something AFTER the kitchen is finished :-). PLus, hawaii was a crazy 16 day trip....and like I said I don't expect anything :p. We do plan to take a weekend later in the summer when we get this whole house thing sorted and settled. Yay
For our 9th....hmm IDK what we will do.
Our 10th we will be on a 7 day trip to Hawaii...we will likely try a new island (ogh and I WILL be a 0 again...I DO NOT like being a 4 I am just plain pudgy bleh). We have also contemplated having our children go for a week with us...then send them home and we stay for a week for our anniversary....We will have to see what we can afford...
Not that anyone cared...but it's fun to reflect on past anniversaries and lessons learned! I will load a few pics in a post from cancun.
Happy Anniversary!!!!
8 yrs ago today We said, "I pledge my life and love to you" until one of us lays the other in to the arms of God. The pastor who married us was a little cooky and I didn't get the wedding or reception I wanted, but I DID get the man I wanted. He is WAY more than I could have imagined. He loves me and protects me and always puts me before himself....not to mention that he's REALLY hot.
So Happy Happy Anniversary to us and SOOO many more to look forward to in the future!
So Happy Happy Anniversary to us and SOOO many more to look forward to in the future!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Saturday, June 6, 2009
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